some assembly required

i was forced to go to an assembly the other day as a part of my employment. it was one of those feel-good, be-positive, don't smoke or hang out with the wrong crowd things that uses ultra-loud emotional pop music to keep the kids' attention. we used to have to go to these sorts of things when i was in high school and i generally just made fun of them then, but i was forced to be "the man" at this function and as i sat quietly and had my eardrums assualted by kelly clarkston, i realized just how vacuous these assemblies are. at the beginning, they had a "featuring music by" intro and it makes me think that it was more about selling a soundtrack than a positive message.