Just Fucking Stop Already

I haven't felt this alone in awhile. I know that I am a person that needs to be around people. I have always tried to surround myself with friends and/or family, or just people in general. I think that now is the time in my life where I learn to be alone. See, I have this way of looking at life where I find that life's experiences try to break my crutches so that I can learn to stand alone. e.g. I hurt my leg so that I learn that I am a very healthy person over all so I should be thankfull and use my physicality and appreciate it. I get scars on my legs when I get to egotistical about having "nice" legs, I go through tough times with my parents so that I can get along better with them. Always something to be learned through life's experiences. So, yes, right now I am living in a oasis in buttfuck america far from people I am familiar with and have things in common with and I am learning that I am alone and learning how to be alone. It is a tough lesson. And not a treasured one (yet)... A past co-worker read me my next year's horrorscope and he said that this time last year would be full of emotional strife. I think he meant this year too. But, I am learning and it is tough, but I refuse to get rid of my optimism. Sure, I may actually best be labeled as a cynical optimist, but optimism is there anyways. Cause, well, "I'm alive aren't I?"