all wet and far
it's so fucking easy to drink loads of soda and not brush your teeth and stay up too late and smoke cigarettes until your throat burns and let the newspapers pile up in their little plastic bags by the door for weeks, desert the kitchen for 7-eleven muffins and plaid pantry donettes. ignore the bills and the bank balance and the future and pretty much everything but this wonderful knee discomfort. so fucking easy.
it's hard as hell to wash your glasses and your sweatshirt and call your parents and drink water and buy cereal and milk and listen to something besides cursive and bush. take out the recycling and communicate with friends and deal with the computer/internet and get out of bed before 1pm on the weekend. do something besides make shitty fragmented lists.
whatev. i'm going to MA soonish. (no more CT.) i like my job. if i didn't have a reason to get out of bed and leave the house and walk around in the daylight, things could get a little sketch. i have a rapport with a handful of mini-mart employees around this town. YES.
it's weird just how absurd it is to think about talking to strangers, being forward, girls, what? how tacky.
i read 'the notebook' and was vaguely enthralled. read the appendix called 'nicholas sparks on nicholas sparks' and was vaguely disgusted. there's way too much goddamn talktalktalk about things these days. let it fucking be, you know? i don't give a fuck if marilyn manson doesn't scare you anymore; don't brag about it to the masses in your glossy magazine about MUSIC. and why is everyone so fucking MEAN? that quote down below about paris hilton and such, what the hell? sarah silverman can be funny, but she was being MEANMEANMEAN to paris right in front of her and a big crowd, saying sexual things about paris for laughs, for notoriety. so what if she's in the news? what did she DO to make everyone loathe her so? she's just a person like us, not some fucking target for all our misplaced dissatisfaction with our own SHITTY lives. someone DARES to have fun and do what she WANTS and we call her names and talk endlessly about how we're paying too much attention to her. we can't turn away because we have NOTHING in our own lives, and what's so wrong about that? don't call HER names; we're not in motherfucking gradeschool here, are we? being mean to other people because we can? FUCK THAT. let people be free if they want to, don't try to cut them down to size to lessen the disparity between their freedom and your khaki pants. why is paris hilton more of a target than boys who party? what is it about girls that makes us fucking HATE them if they do what they want? how many boys out there are idolized because they don't give a fuck? and then courtney love is REVILED because she's a rockstar, paris hilton because GOD KNOWS WHY. we make fun of strippers and then go slack-jawed and throw money at them after 5pm. it's so FRUSTRATING. it's like that fucking preacher who got caught with drugs and a dude prostitute type. he'd rail against those things, and then go enjoy them. why do we have this shitty need to present ourselves as against things that we like? just LET IT FUCKING BE. ENJOY things; isn't that more fun than railing againt them? and don't be mean to people. that's just silly.
it's a half-assed saturday morning. i'm gonna do the hard things, eat some cereal. feel myself swell with pride. HA.
it's hard as hell to wash your glasses and your sweatshirt and call your parents and drink water and buy cereal and milk and listen to something besides cursive and bush. take out the recycling and communicate with friends and deal with the computer/internet and get out of bed before 1pm on the weekend. do something besides make shitty fragmented lists.
whatev. i'm going to MA soonish. (no more CT.) i like my job. if i didn't have a reason to get out of bed and leave the house and walk around in the daylight, things could get a little sketch. i have a rapport with a handful of mini-mart employees around this town. YES.
it's weird just how absurd it is to think about talking to strangers, being forward, girls, what? how tacky.
i read 'the notebook' and was vaguely enthralled. read the appendix called 'nicholas sparks on nicholas sparks' and was vaguely disgusted. there's way too much goddamn talktalktalk about things these days. let it fucking be, you know? i don't give a fuck if marilyn manson doesn't scare you anymore; don't brag about it to the masses in your glossy magazine about MUSIC. and why is everyone so fucking MEAN? that quote down below about paris hilton and such, what the hell? sarah silverman can be funny, but she was being MEANMEANMEAN to paris right in front of her and a big crowd, saying sexual things about paris for laughs, for notoriety. so what if she's in the news? what did she DO to make everyone loathe her so? she's just a person like us, not some fucking target for all our misplaced dissatisfaction with our own SHITTY lives. someone DARES to have fun and do what she WANTS and we call her names and talk endlessly about how we're paying too much attention to her. we can't turn away because we have NOTHING in our own lives, and what's so wrong about that? don't call HER names; we're not in motherfucking gradeschool here, are we? being mean to other people because we can? FUCK THAT. let people be free if they want to, don't try to cut them down to size to lessen the disparity between their freedom and your khaki pants. why is paris hilton more of a target than boys who party? what is it about girls that makes us fucking HATE them if they do what they want? how many boys out there are idolized because they don't give a fuck? and then courtney love is REVILED because she's a rockstar, paris hilton because GOD KNOWS WHY. we make fun of strippers and then go slack-jawed and throw money at them after 5pm. it's so FRUSTRATING. it's like that fucking preacher who got caught with drugs and a dude prostitute type. he'd rail against those things, and then go enjoy them. why do we have this shitty need to present ourselves as against things that we like? just LET IT FUCKING BE. ENJOY things; isn't that more fun than railing againt them? and don't be mean to people. that's just silly.
it's a half-assed saturday morning. i'm gonna do the hard things, eat some cereal. feel myself swell with pride. HA.
posted by Jesse at 2:04 PM
5 Comments:
Blah blah tabloids. What? I need to buy milk, but as you say, it is difficult. I wish for portland minimarts in bloomington. I plan on bringing the vices in check here directly. I need to put new songs on my mp3 player. Or carry a discman. CDs are fantastic.
Goals.
not just tabloids; that's why i was ranting. it's gotten to where everyone and their asshole coworker feels free to speak with authority about public figures and how fucked up they are. no one will ever really know anyone else.
i just bought two marilyn manson cds. i feel so alive. station wagon with drunken frat boy types all yelling at me 'get out of the road' etc at 3am, i held my spot for the left turn, extending my middle finger the whole fucking time, egging them on. i wanted them to follow me, yell some more, make it fun. they went another way. alas.
this marilyn is AWESOME.
Ya, that was kindof a cop-out answer, I was tired... :( But I really do try to not pay attention to things like that, maybe to try and avoid the things yr ranting about. But now you're making me pay attention. Ya, I guess people like to bitch about celebs' lives cuz it takes the attention off themselves. Why do girls get more shit? Cuz they're supposed to be the finer sex, think about the future, while boys are supposed to impregnate everything they can indescriminately? I dunno, I guess its not very fair, but as I'm a boy, I guess I get more riled about other instances of people imposing their own morals on others. Like fucking scientists wanting to go to war with religion over fundamental beliefs. Don't get me started on that shit, I get pissed.
Also, sleep is AWESOME.
I think the fixed gear is done now. I'd like a longer seat post, but that is optional. I overhauled both the the bottom bracket and the headset. I now feel I have conquered every system on the bicycle, and it feels damn good.
it's sunday now and i'm committed to GETTING SHIT DONE. i spent all day yesterday lounging about an apartment that isn't mine eating food that wasn't mine (tho i guess it is now, because it's in me, a part of me), singing a song in french and learning how to order a coffee with milk and sugar in german. talk about a vacant day.
i don't even drink coffee.
i could sleep and sleep and sleep but need to go go GO because i'm leaving for this big race on wed. it's in the redwoods and i'll be riding a fun horse and hanging out with people i haven't seen in a while and it's going to be awesome. but it means i need to suffer through soil extracts right NOW.
i need milk too.
i miss cheap movie theaters with beer and good movies and mt. hood.
ALSO
abba might be good in a non-ironic way. more research is needed.
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