Tuesday, October 20, 2009

secret emulations

so, i don't know if you guys are aware of this, but howard hughes was fucking awesome. this whole time, i thought he was a tool just because he had the misfortune of being played by leonardo dicaprio in that sucky-ass movie (which i never saw). jesse would have been a much better casting choice, in my humble opinion.

so anywhoo, i read through a ton of boring-ass aviation, invention, movie-making shit, etc, etc to extract these amazing details from his wikipedia page:

"In 1947, Hughes descended into one of the most bizarre episodes of his life. In December of that year, Hughes told his aides that he wanted to screen some movies at a film studio near his home. Hughes stayed in the studio's darkened screening room for more than four months, never leaving. He subsisted exclusively on chocolate bars and milk, and relieved himself in the empty bottles and containers. He was surrounded by dozens of Kleenex boxes, which he continuously stacked and re-arranged. He wrote detailed memos to his aides on yellow legal pads giving them explicit instructions not to look at him, speak to him, and only to respond when spoken to. Throughout this period, Hughes sat fixated in his chair, often naked, continuously watching movies, reel after reel, day after day. When he finally emerged in the spring of 1948, his hygiene was terrible, as he had not bathed or cut his hair and nails for weeks."

ok, so the not bathing or trimming his nails is a little gross, but you still have to admire his committment.

"After the screening room incident, Hughes moved into a bungalow at the Beverly Hills Hotel... His erratic behavior continued, however, as he would sit naked in his bedroom with a pink hotel napkin placed over his genitals, watching movies. In one year, he spent an estimated $11 million at the hotel."

a pink napkin. this cements him in my mind as being a classy guy. also, good work wikipedia geeks for tracking down and including that bit of (what some may consider to be extraneous) information.

"In a bout of obsession with his home state, Hughes began purchasing all restaurant chains and four star hotels that had been founded within Texan borders. This included, if for only a short period, many unknown franchises currently out of business...Another time, he became obsessed with the 1968 film Ice Station Zebra and had it running on a continuous loop in his home. According to his aides, he watched it 150 times...Hughes wanted to change the image of Las Vegas to something more glamorous than it was. As Hughes wrote in a memo to an aide, 'I like to think of Las Vegas in terms of a well-dressed man in a dinner jacket and a beautifully jeweled and furred female getting out of an expensive car.'"

seriously. awesome.


Blogger Jonny said...

i hit wikipedia when i saw you talkin about some guy who has science money named after him, who is he etc. wikipedia is boring, so i got bored pretty quick so its good you plucked the good bits out.

and so, wikipedia geeks, check out the antiwiki geeks (sometimes nws so be careful i guess) http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2971520

7:49 AM  
Blogger Jonny said...

ok that was lame of me, liz did all the c/p work and i give a link that might have a penis in it


hello and welcome to the first annual FYAD wikipedia vandalization contest!!!

here are the rules of the road

1) make one or more plausible sounding but completely and utterly false additions or edits to wikipedia. no bread climps here fellas, we're shooting for stuff that nobody but the most hardcore faggot nerds would bother fact checking, because the more plausible sounding it is the more likely it will fly on wikipedia forever. For example, this edit of mine to the Manimal article has survived for 483 days: (i am ready for wikipedia to revert it now go ahead big boys)


In the episode "High Stakes," Dr. Chase alludes to the episode title at least three times. At the bar he says both, "The stakes seem high," and "These are some high stakes... almost too high." Later that night in the restaurant he remarks, from off camera, "How about those stakes back there? Pretty high, huh?"

end quote

2) DO NOT TELL ANYONE YOU MADE THE EDIT(S)!!! except for me, that is!! DONT POST THEM IN THE THREAD EITHER!! THEY WILL BE UNDONE IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE WIKIPEDIA BIG SHOTS READ FYAD!!! send me a PM and a link to the page you edited and what you put in there your secret is safe with me. PMs only

3) i will keep track of your edits for at least 1 (one) month or more

4) among the edits that survive the time period and must therefore be completely true information according to Wikipedia, Inc., winners will be chosen and prizes of some kind will be given out (dont know what yet i'm kind of unprepared here) and then i will show off your shit and we will all marvel at your handiwork


make 1-2 really good edits rather than tons of really shitty ones, the more you stick your head out the more likely someone will crack down on all your shit


ok gooo~~

11:44 AM  
Blogger Ryland said...

i predict a trebling of our site traffic from the load of people that stumble over here after googling "hardcore faggot nerds." congratulations, jonny.

12:07 AM  

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