sums out loud

blasting pixies b-sides and leaving my jacket on. waiting another day and forgetting another night. chastising myself for flimsy reasoning and adoring myself for the same. maybe everyone's a ghost like this. more volume, less thought. i need to go out and chase hollywood ideals tonight, get reminded. always losing the future. saw a kitten with white socks on 52nd at 6:50am yesterday, almost rearranged everything. thought about quitting things and starting other things, adopting the concerns of the masses. but then i kept going and it was just a joke, a flash, a shadow. maybe i need some new targets.

this is boring as FUCK.

suck up and look right. want nothing, have everything. i can't.