upchuck unity

what's causing this? too much insulation. no. what's this here? maybe i'll punch myself in the stomach and cut off my fingertips. i'm only eating bread from now on. i can't understand anything else.

two more enndingss
onefewer memory
bigbigbigbig pile of rejections and reminders and wordss
an upsetting splitmenow/methen
who i thought we were who we were
in this wait lies uncertainty and gleeee(at a thumbed nose)

the dissolution[discovery] of meaning. order[clarity] is the lie.

this is the next step, the first level, sore to the touch, fever broken, naked layers. what i want to say is: this means more to me than volumes of 'what's wrong with herhim' jibberjabber. nothing's wrong with anyone. stop pretending and start. 'like touching except you don't touch.' i want . oopsyy delete space before..

filling these lungs with want. unadorned, eyes open and unfocused. don't make a move, don't leave the bed. burrow in and avoid the clock, wait for the next song. spring up and out and forward, bask in the glow of the speakers, ignore the kitchen and fly away. you'll soon be warm and forget your hunger.

DETAILS:

1. i want everyone to hear this song, so badly it hurts. but i have to wait until i'm at school and can use their computers since mine is getting crotchety.

2. i recharged my gameboy. tetris swallows[saves] me.

3. FAG LIFE across the lower abdomen. FUCK on the wrist. i have no identity.

4. four is my 11-year-old sister's favorite number.

CLOSING:

songs speak and throats catch.

much love,
jessejessejessejessejesse