something about not knowing

making the effort to stay awake today, do my taxes, take stock of the school situation. eat real food (bagels), drink only water.

flat tire in milwaukie yesterday, 2-hour walk home. pleasant, though.

all i ever want to do is have fun.

i've been having these incredibly vivid dreams: opening a mexican restaurant, falling in love with a girl, quitting a job, picking up litter, assisting a superhero. and then i wake up and bike somewhere and drink soda and eat a bagel. maybe some of those little pecan pies, if i'm lucky.

there's no get-up-and-go right now because my hands smell like soap instead of camels. i can see my reflection in the shiny apple logo on this school computer, and i look like everyone else. i spend my time silent.

RACK AND RAUL hate yourself awake and throw sex to the wind RIGHT.