christ faggot

i want to hit the drums hard enough to shut everyone the fuck up, smoke enough cigarettes to drive everyone away, ride my bike recklessly enough to piss everyone off. use all the profanity in the world, make everyone cover their ears. i want to hold hands with this cashier named JOHN at safeway, make the fat christians sick. i want to lie down everywhere, take off my glasses, close my eyes, forget/remember everything.

i want to stop acting for the benefit of other people. stop trying to impress people, stop trying to make people like me, stop trying to seem cool and mysterious. stop proudly displaying my exaggerated flaws. stop putting my eggs in baskets. stop these nothing-to-do-today diatribes.

listen to more hilary duff.