Monday, January 08, 2007

laugh 'till it hurst and fuck the motherfucker

so i was walking towards my office and waiting at a stoplight. i was waiting for the left-turner to pass before crossing the street. honestly, i started while the left turn light was still YELLOW (which every pedestrian who is half-way familiar with that intersection does) and the bitch who wanted to make a right before i crossed (almost pulled into me, because of course she didn't look where she was turning until she started to turn) honked at me, then put her window down to say, "i could've turned, you crossed early, sob, sob, sob, i'm more important than you because i have a CAR."

it is interesting to note that by the time she honked, i had the honest-to-god-right-of-way.

so i reacted the only way a logical person could.

i yelled FUCK YOU.

she yelled some more. jesus christ, the bitch was serious about wanting to turn right on a red light, when she technically didn't have any more of a right-of-way than i did (since pedestrians ALWAYS have the right-of-way).

so i kindly pointed out to her that she could not have completed said turn before i had the right-of-way, which is something car-driving motherfuckers frequently forget.

she kept yelling.

i feel invigorated.

i'm going to submit a little note to her through the strangers "i, anonymous" and tell her about all the times cars didn't stop when i had the right-of-way and almost killed me.

it's time overbearing right-turners got some back.

score one for the non-car people.

3 Comments:

Blogger Jesse said...

that's fantastic. i find it amusing to walk in front of cars, etc, just to remind them that they are not fucking gods just because they are in metal boxes. and this morning, as i rode through the 8am downtown logjam, i was reminded of just how invogorating it can be to be reckless and precise at the same time. and how funny it is when cars get mad at you, but they can't DO anything beyond pressing a button (honking) or slightly moving their foot (lurching forward). such silliness.

and speaking of silliness and everyone being way too serious, what's with political columnists? it's all so THEY'RE GONNA KILL THAT POOR WOMAN blahblahblah that i just have to laugh. HA.

2:20 PM  
Blogger Sammy said...

I should start carrying around molotov cocktails to throw into open car windows when people give me shit. I don't care about global warming, but why not could scream something about cars causing global warming before I lob it in.

9:12 PM  
Blogger Jonny said...

Hell ya.

9:42 PM  

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