better off close to broken

so DILATE by ani difranco is the best album i've ever heard. curled up on the floor as my arm goes numb, slipping further and further into the sound. listening to other people means i don't have to grab my own thoughts and force them into some sort of shape, send them out into the world. the snow-dampened world, silent and bright, swallowing up all the smoke and laughter i can muster. ani difranco sat in a room and said these things and now i'm sitting in a room, listening to them, feeling larger and more whole than i have ever felt. there doesn't need to be anything more than this. standing on the front steps, letting the cold bring focus, letting the shivers take over and occupy my restless body. good god, this is day five of a six-day weekend. i don't know what love is. i'm thinking it has something to do with bagels, though. that's where i'm putting my money.