the people who talk

fucking disagreeable, maybe i need some cure-all soda? maybe i need some cure-all exertion? some cure-all sleep? some cure-all fuck-all? why in the SHIT?

forty-five minutes left here.

i could talk about biking or whatever, but blah blah blah yeah.

music! EFK? franny and the twins? dan goddamned bern? THE NATIONAL. some shitty lil wayne single, loud and crackly.

the truck is oooooozing fluid, green like monster ENERGY drink. i want to just park it and wait that shit out. deal with it at a later date. HA. but.

(i just feel very worded out right now. everyone talks talks talks and the sun still rises. IT'S SO HARD TO GET ON.)

big long blob of text. sometimes remembering makes me feel sick, i just wanna look forward or maybe look RIGHT HERE. reading that new franzen business, and it's got me in a PLACE. a PLACE where i cut my thoughts short because they would otherwise make me sicksicksick, etc. the usual: parents, family, whatever. blindly beating away the branches of duty, scraping my skin on their insistent points. i don't mind that it hurts to ignore them, i can deal with that more easily than i can deal with remembering. or something. la la la. what if i clench my jaw and ONLY EAT RICE FROM NOW ON? mimic the solution of another time, another name, another melody. pretend we're dead and this is a dream. TAKE ADVANTAGE.

right. i'm gonna go for a RIDE.

What!?!

I'm back. bitches.

edging towards the

What the fuck happened to gum? Gum used to be the 25c thing you could buy out of the vending maching if you didn't have enough for real candy. now its the pricy item? I need something to chomp now my teeth are going to break. thooth picks are dangerour i see now why you avoid them.
i can't tell if this is normal or if i'm ovver reacting. i bet it's normal, well be there soon enough. SOON ENOUGH

crappy poast :(

queasy & excitable

getting my shit together. went to the eye doctor, and the latest opinion is that i'd see better with a combination of contacts AND glasses, at the same time. so i made an appointment with the contact people, which will happen in a few weeks. and then they can tell me more. this happens every time i see the eye doctor. there's always a brilliant plan that will make me more like Everyone Else, and it pretty much always falls through. so we'll see.

shoes? do i really need new shoes? no. but that trashy store is VERY appealing. and they have shoes.

this was gonna be longer, but my hands are tired.

press the future

what i want frightens me, saying it Right obsesses me, you're so close but to far to touch, what we want is in reach but we don't know the cost, these Things (cosas) and People and Actions and Words keep being and moving, the building and progress are for something or another, time is fleeting/endless relentless/silly, the use is for putting a few more Words.

"what we want is what we have, life is perfect" (how did that go?)

item is a dorky word