Bush possessed by Sammy?

(Article Linky)

Next we're going to hear that he's taken to quoting Full Metal Jacket at length, screaming "that wasn't me, Rohntra!"

I was reading my journal (which I write in every 2-10 months) last night and found this entry:

1/26/03
Nothing too profound ended up happening yesterday. But here's today's creative output:

-ridonkeycockulous
-battered cream and egg shelter
-Jesse's folder says CCSN, which he and J-Boy were fantasizing to mean the band Crosby, Cash, Stills and Nash (Cash being Johnny). Which prompted me Jon to say "Ya, fuck Young, get Cash." So ya, that'll be some sort of group slogan

...

That was a fruitful day.

-ttfn, r

Child of the Internet

The imperminence of this blog really bothers me. I mean, in reality, its probably more permenent than the paper I write on, but I still am afraid it will suddenly dissapear without warning. Also, I was going to add this as a comment to my last post, but figured I should stop being the only one that comments on my posts. Not that three posts in a row is much better. Fucking blogging ettequette. Is there such a thing? Aparently, if only in my head. And I can't stop breaking it. Breaking the rules, I'm such a rebel, in everything I do. :rolleyes:

You Think?

Maybe I should get in the car and go. Why don't I bike anymore? My backpack is too full of shit to make myself think I know have knowledge. I can teach a newbie. I like that. Why do I play video games? Or spend so much time fucking off online? I have too many vices, but why do I do anything else? Exercise is theraputic, but running alone is boring, sorry Liz. My friends are too safe. Too close to family. Where is the danger besides what I create by fucking up? I'm getting too coherent now, I'm straying from the truth. I really do care about the issues, but strong opinions seem to do the opposite of what they intend.

Fucking

Wall

Of

Text.

There might be something to cellebrate in a short while. I should pay my bills. I'm very on top of my chores. Except a few. What about those projects? Why is there nothing on the front burner? To much of a good thing. Maybe not. I think I'm more typical than I think. Except, not. I have a mullet again, but I want to shave my head. Its not funny, I'm too old for funny hair. But no, I'm not to old, people my age are too old to let themselves be drawn in to such pedestrian humor. I've always been a big fan of campy humor. Veggie Tails cracks me up, but I don't really know what it is. What was I saying?

Ah

I got a student today. I was worried he was going to be a social retard, but he's actually quite cool. I showed him the lab, explained protocols to him, and went to a barbeque with him. It was awesome.

Ben Folds: Still Fighting It.
Yes.

Gaaaa

||:
I don't know how I'm going to make it. This paper should be mostly done, and I've barely started. I still keep fucking off, and not working on it. Like right now. What the fuck.

See, I think actually its too easy. I have pleanty of time still, and know mostly everything I'll be writing. So, fuck it. I'm gonna blog.
:||

nutella

i was introduced to nutella back in my high school french class. most of my peers in the class had long-suspected that america may not be the best country in the world (that's probably why we were taking french) and finding out that european kids ate nutella rather than peanut butter only supported our theory. thank god i had nutella with fresh bread this morning, or i might not have been able to handle this REAL article i read on msn.com:

http://men.msn.com/articlebl.aspx?cp-documentid=4725712>1=10015

you don't have to actually read the entire article, as i've posted the best bits here:

"Yankee Doodle Daddy
One man's plan for raising patriotic kids.

When the kids are very small, buy them one of those wooden USA jigsaw puzzles...Their apathy is irrelevant. Your message that this frontier is available to them will insinuate its way into their mushy little brains. Don't, under any circumstances, be deterred by their mother, who may claim, and I quote, that you're "browbeating the kids" with images of Kansas, golden with grain. Women love their country differently than we do.

Offer your children money to memorize every state capital. Ignore their mother's whining that they should learn for learning's sake. Mastering this list will be a great long-term asset to your child. It's worth $25. Trust me. Nobody who grew up knowing all the state capitals has ever become society's problem.

Offer them money to memorize both the Preamble to the Constitution and the Gettysburg address. These are magical pieces of writing. If they have a niche in your children's brains, our country is well served, and the kids will always feel as though they have a home. MORE IMPORTANT, THEIR CHANCES OF GOING TO COLLEGE DOUBLE.

Don't worry that your patriotic propaganda is wasted on them. Or if your wife claims that you're actually making them hate America with "all your pop quizzes on the leading products of Wisconsin." Your message will make its way into their hearts."


is it just me or does it sound like this man should get a divorce? seriously, he seems to think his wife is a total bitch, he may as well give up the ghost already. also, i'd like to point to "the animaniacs" as evidence that knowing all the state capitols does NOT preclude your being a rascal (doesn't jesse know all the state capitols too?). and while knowing the preamble to the constitution and the gettysburg address may or may not double your children's chances of getting into college, it will drop their acceptance rate to grad school to just about 2.7% (that's the latest figure i've seen, anyway).

Come back to me

Where are you A holes? What, you don't like writing on the internet anymore? How am I supposed to procrastinate?

I'm writing this paper now, and once again, I'm fucking off to the very last minute, until I can't believe my own retardedness, how can I get this done now? It's all over, I better start filling out Taco Bell applications. What will I tell everyone? I failed because I wanted to read people making fun of furries? Whatever, it will be fine. Probably.

And, as an update for the previous post, there was something like 50 e-mails sent out to that list, the ridiculousness of it still tickles me.

Muahahah

Original e-mail:

2007 Mandatory SAA Fellowship Insurance

As a participant in the mandatory Student Health Insurance Plan during the academic year 2006-2007, you are receiving the attached information as an update on the plan for the upcoming academic year.

As an SAA appointed at 37.5% FTE or greater or a fellowship recipient with an award of $3,077 or more for fall 2007, you will automatically be enrolled unless you complete a waiver and submit it with proof of comparable insurance coverage. A waiver form must be completed for each semester.

If you have any questions after reading the attached information, please feel free to contact me.

Pam Vaughn

Data Systems Analyst

Office of Academic Personnel

Policies & Services

Bryan Hall 016

Bloomington

812.855.3341

Resulting hilarity:

So, a bunch of people started replying "take me off the list" or "i'm insured, don't make me have more insurance, here is my personal ID number." As I'm posting this, more e-mails are comming in, mostly "don't reply to all" or "stop clogging my inbox" (sent to everyone). And other new messages to the list about the propper e-mailing techniques. I really want to reply to all with something like "just wanted to say hi."

ain't no mountain high enough

so we just had a "networking" event in fisheries/oceanography/school of marine affairs, which roughly means that you get drunk with a bunch of your friends and don't talk to anyone you don't already know.

now i'm meeting my boyfriend at the sports center to go bouldering and i'm totally shitfaced. unfortunately, said boyfriend seems to be attached to the bouldering adventure. at this point, i am not. i am thinking the invite i got to a bbq sounds a-ok. more beer and all, continue down the path of least resistance and whatnot.

it's going to be funny if i actually try to climb like this. if they actually let me climb like this. i seriously cannot type one word without a major typo. okay, i just proved myself wrong, but i was trying really hard. i could end up hurting a lot tomorrow. in many different, and possibly confounding, ways.

Haiku?

From the internetz:
another time was at arby's. This poor bastard must have spent a fortune on this food. he had the gigantic roast beef sandwich, large cheddar fries, large drink, and 2 apple turnovers. of course its on one tray. he walks over to the condiment station and, instead of putting the tray down, he hold it with one hand. His drink tips so he over-corrects, and ends up slinging the drink into 2 people standing beside him. Embarassed he slips on the ice and launches the rest of the food into the air. It hits the ground and made much louder sound that one would have thought. He just took off running out of arby's at high speed.

you're all i need to get by

the people at sprint are fucktards and i hate them. i want to vent about it, but cannot get up the motivation to type all that shit.

in other news, marvin gaye is still a god.

i'm packing up for the big weekend field trip for the class i ta. i reminded the class of a few facts during lab today:

1. cinco de mayo is sat, during our camping trip.
2. margaritas are the traditional drink of choice on cinco de mayo.
3. the class midterm will be next tue.
4. i will be the one grading said midterm.
i'm hoping they have good powers of deductive reasoning.

now i just need to get some food.

This says it perfectly.

Lookie what I got.