The eternal "oh god" factor

want to be there
want to be here
be by you, by them
heading this way
what next?
passing by
drift
go for it


Edit:
[what i wanted to say was:]

Future.

hmm, i think i might be having a mini crisis, early mid life, or late early life, something.  probably at least partially caused by talk of babies, not that that's what it's about, but thinking of babies makes you think long term.  i also heard a song talking about "made a little money at 40, but nothing happens at 47" and i was like, shit, that's soon.  also john muir story about hermit- "noon of life passed to late afternoon unnoticed.  health and gold gone he ran to the hills."  
so.  some time, when you're also thinking about life things, wanna talk about the plan?  do we want to live in anchorage that long?  i mean, i am loving south central activities, but what about in 10 years?  obviously this isn't like planning trips for a year, there's a lot we can't know, but at least get a feel for what each other want more.

also, winter's here!

and it could just be the "every place i go is one less place i could call home" factor... the eternal oh god feeling

Aca-Rageous!

In a blink of an eye and a flurry of activity, there is varied monotony again. 

There is gratefulness and thanks in my heart and steel in my trap of a mind.

I am ready for the future--we ARE the future!  In the future, we revisit the past (again) and change the direction of time (again).  This time with TURBO^2

Pitch Perfect is "running through my head....running through my head"  Make it stop!  Make it last FOREVER!  Aca-Akward.  Life couldn't be more beautiful.

I do believe less is more, until more is best and that we straddled the comfy line for 10 glorious days.

Running around to find a place to sit still!  hahahahaha!  and, to think the beach was in NW pdx all along.

Seattle is dumb, but is redeemed by Go Go's.  Just barely.

Seattle happened to host a crescendo of silliness and we parted quickly before it became to Aca-sad.

Hello/Goodbye my CenterFolk.

individual fruits

it's still early, eyes getting droopy, not enough liquid, not enough movement.  days of:

hamburgers at food carts and bars and picnic tables in parking lots, french fries, WINE, motherfucking tomatoes and forgotten mushrooms.  lasagna babies and strange garage cookies, tea tea tea, chick fingers and bizarre ice cream.  burritos, potstickers, orderly wong's, soda.

hedgehog car, go-go cars galore, prius, pickup truck, luxury suv.  train, jet, monorail, bus.  fancy bikes and trashy bmx.  TURBO.

historical (futuristic?) turbo ride past shadowy bum bikes, cheese emporium full of ice cream and tubular tots, NO CD PLAYER.  submission wrestling and airplane rides.  maybe looking for hiking boots (toe socks), maybe just touring.

walgreen's, fred's, safeway, mall.  landmarks of comfort.  movie about cops, songs about everything.

PITCH FUCKING PERFECT because there's no other phrase that works better.

zombie bike

chain stay crack number 2 repair.  much more quick and dirty this time. time for new frame for real

crack

 crack

 jay bolt

 jay bolt

 paint

 done

just now biking to lab it it started raining, as you say it makes child-like glee.  the guy of our demographic who commutes the opposite way as me (he's like clockwork.  gets to work at 8, leaves at 5.   i'm kindof jealous in a way, i only see him when i happen to be commuting at those times), we passed and he went woohoo and i replied eeh haw. 

old, yes, but not stupid.  well, trying not to be at least...

the arrangement

the new familiar, i reckon. listening to sun seven (HA!) and it would appear to be sunday. gray and kind of thirsty. i used a machine to make coffee, since i'm having a soda hiatus. what the fuck? next thing you know i'll be making a fucking sandwich to take to work. need to keep these things at an arm's length. need. work. simplify, do or die, semper fi, lo-fi piece of shits.

i sold the cop car and got a cadillac, same price range. you can imagine. going through some sort of shitty car phase. why? i don't have the answers to these questions, as the lady once said. new blink 182 album in my GRASP. so it's like 2003 or whatever again, mysterious song on the radio, the faint promise of some weird bright eyes-tinged future of popular rock and roll. except it's sunday and i DON'T have to go work at the gas station. that's pretty genius.

i think i never got the hang of using a laptop. using a laptop now, not quite fluid. i only use this thing for music, really. i don't like computers, i've decided. i mean, i do, but not like this. MONSTER GOD COCK.

i'm glad i'm in this town. you can't tear me away.

but what if i drove the cadillac somewhere? would that be stupid? prolly. but what if i WANT to? anyone want a cadillac? i could deliver it to you.

i'm congested and i had a dream where i wanted some cigarettes. my hair is getting long. i'd rather go far than be bored. right? right.

i want it all.

a year off

when you come back take things slow
make a moment and build an effort
we will return to travel again, whatever paths may lay behind
to proliferate and grow, to clean up and know
sound
using the old forms, borrowing methods, burning fuel and desire
a new coat, of paint, of armor, weather stripping away
used and decorated by this time
touch
closer and clearer the source
fine to our ways
getting to be
home

The World's Largest

The deep trenches of writing a Really Big paper must make you think deeper is better. I'm not so interested in crosswords this time but I have intense desires and fantasies to do shit that's mildly amusing. When this is done it's forrest gump time, lets hike to alaska.

I went to a hardcore concert in Brooklyn this one time. I think it was X. So I'm standing there with my drink waiting for the show and I'm surrounded by all these guys in suits. I mean like seriously, the just rolled in from Wall Street. The band gets up on 'stage' (lets face it, it wasn't a stage it was an area of the club slightly higher than the rest with a wall of speakers cutting it off from the rest. I'm small and can't take moshing so I find my friends and we set up a defensive perimeter in a banquet table. I look out at the crowd wondering how the suits are holding up in the pit and lo and behold there isn't a suit out there, just a bunch of punks beating the shit out of each other. Occasionally a guy gets ejected from the pit and rams against our boot heels..we give him a helpful shove back in. That's when I notice that the suits ARE the punks. They were they old incognito punks who had 'grown up' and gone on with their lives..but during the full moon they shed their corporate bindings to come out listen to hardcore, thrash and beat the shit out of each other. It was a great time.

and this

tocotronic