all that ribs

Material (songs and books and such) designed for pre-schoolers may be more worthwhile than previously supposed. Ditto for 80's movies with Goldie Hawn.

I wish this blog were censored, so stuff looks like "son of a *****". Then I could write "don't **** *** in ***** ********* until **** teenage ******* *****" and y'all would wonder what I really tried to say.

There might be a monster under my bed.

We're all in this together; there's no need to worry about standing out.

Now Blogger saves your drafts automatically!

quotables

riding the bus to and from the downtown seattle was a little more of an experience than usual. at a stop on pine, this old white man with a wrapped hand gets on the bus and flips off a black man still outside. after a brief exchange of insults, the white man notifies the bus driver "that man out there just pulled a knife on me a couple of minutes ago." the driver closed the door, but i was struck by the complete nonchalance in which the man said this. and by the fact that he was moving towards the door as he said this, and in a provocative manner. needless to say, if someone pulled a fucking knife on me, i would not have hung out at the bus stop with them for a few minutes and would definitely refrain from further provoking them. conclusion: i doubt the knife story.

either that, or the man on the bus was totally off his rocker.

which is also entirely possible

riding back was delightful, thanks to the colorful commentary provided by a couple of teenagers in the back who talked of nothing but "sucking cock, sucking dick, getting fucked in the ass" etc. this went on for some time until an older woman glared at them and reminded them that there were small children on the bus. the small child seated near me seemed to be blissfully unaware (c'mon, i hope to god "sucking cock" has no more meaning to a 2 year old than "sucking cow" does), but i was glad they shut the fuck up. we know i have nothing against cussing, but those little fuckers were YELLING this shit and i believe everyone should be as quiet as possible (and stare vacantly out the window) while utilizing public transport.

in other news, i'm fighting a stong case of apathy towards work and trying to work up some motivation to do some lab chores. not even honest-to-god lab work, but just cleaning-up shit i need to do to so i can do the real lab work.

forklifts and white people and the black people who love them

forklifts:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Sdjt6Bl5qdY

white people and the black people who love them:
http://blackpeopleloveus.com/index.html

yesterday, my field assistant/student discovered that you should never be late to a meeting with more than one person when the meeting is about YOU. the meeting about you will still take place, whether you are there or not. and it's not a good thing when you're not there. that is, you never want to walk into a room with two of your supervisors (late) and hear, "oh, we were just talking about you."

meanwhile, my advisor is happy with my progress and fully supports co-teaching a class i want to teach when i start my ph.d.

is this the alternative?

back to marilyn manson, loud as hell, i'd kill myself for no one, super fuck. upswing of the illness, three gallons of orange juice doing the trick, i am almost back to hating myself only marginally, rock and roll sores. there's something intoxicating and powerfully seductive about letting everything go. i can go buy a rockstar energy drink, down a bottle of cough syrup, talk to the cashier like it's all a fucking movie. laugh derisively at pretty much everyone, with their silly little everythings. if i want to jerk off in the handicapped stall at safeway, i'll fucking do it with a grin. i can offend you like an asshole on my elbow. on my ELBOW!! an ASSHOLE!!

i have no plans of turning back, no vague thoughts of reconciling and starting to CARE about cars and money and computers and families and jack johnson and the government and blahblahblah. i have no talents, no skills, no fucking worries. i live outside the common marketplace where such things matter, and i'm fine pissing in a mountain dew bottle. the depth of my self-absorption is only rivaled by my boredom with the right way to do things. why haven't you seen 'reign over me'?



in other news, we cleared off the patio some more yesterday! that's pretty rad.

marzipan

damn, the day lasts a motherfucking long time when you show up at 9 am.

working on this part (lab, writing, etc) of my thesis might be fun though. or at least more entertaining than the last year (reading the literature, writing my proposal, re-writing my proposal, re-writing my proposal again for the park service).

some of you other motherfuckers better step up or this is going to turn into a blog between jonny and me bitching about labwork and writing shit.

i left portland so early on sunday, i should've been at sea-tac an hour before patrick's flight got in, but there was a HUGE motherfucking 3-4 mile traffic jam just north of tacoma (apparently some maniac killed himself and crossed over into oncoming traffic). it was stop and go and i was doing great finding the sweet spot in the clutch to hold the car, but because i have to reach so far forward to put the clutch in, my leg got tired after a while and i killed it three times in a row. the jackass in a jeep behind me yelled at me to learn how to drive a stick. i guess he knew how to drive a stick perfectly the first time he tried and never, ever killed a car after sitting for over an hour in 2 mph traffic. he was apparently also too stupid to realize I WAS LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE A STICK, that's why i kept killing it. i felt better after i passed the motherfucker. when patrick got in, i made him drive, 13 hour flight from amsterdam be damned.

patrick was near frankfurt by the time i found out where one would procure a "fuck" wristband in germany (apparently in munich, according to jonny). so i got some marzipan instead. now marzipan is good, especially german marzipan covered in chocolate, but it is an "edible gift." and while edible gifts are always welcome (in fact, i encourage them), they should be accompanied by a more permanent gift. because i turn into a crow when i'm dating, i find sparkly gifts to be the most satisfying (take note, i am not the only girl this happens to) (the best part about sparkly gifts--when you're the person buying the gift--is that you don't even need an extra suitcase to bring them back).

oh well, marzipan it is.

Emotional Duress

Why are you something I seem to worship?

blue-green colors flashing

i'm super-impoverished right now. like, it might be time to ask the parents for a loan sort of poor.

but goddamn "sliver springs" by fleetwood mac is amazing. and i've got patrick's car until sunday AND his permission to drive it "wherever i feel comfortable driving." and i only have two days (hopefully) of field work left. [and yes, jonny, field work is supposed to rock, but it's not so great when you can't stand your field assistant.]

so portland it is.



"you're so vain" is also mind-blowingly good. you could say i have rediscovered the genius that is 70's-80's easy-listening.

i went to a party the other night and ended up spending a good portion of the night talking to a german computer scientist. apparently, there is a sort of person who seems inviting to german computer scientists. and i'm apparently that sort of person.

Hey look at him, hey look at me: I'm a fucking fraud leprechaun.

I feel like all I ever post any more is basically links and quotes, but fuck it. I don't remember where these snippets came from (I'm sure google could tell us), but they're just so great.

"If you're able to eat gracefully and say hello politely and make pleasant small talk, by all means do so. You're living the dream. Do you think we act like savages on purpose?"

and

"We have no idea what’s going on here and it’s kind of freaking us out, but we’d rather be scared than bored so bring it on. "

It's a wonderful time to be alive. I'm eating rainbows and howling at the moon. What are you doing?

I'm realizing how grounded I've been since moving back to Indiana. Grounded like, don't freak out and go all holy crap run away. Well, ok, still freak out plenty, but, there's some core region that seems unaffected here. I'm realizing this because its not true at the moment. Oh, hey sense of impending doom and loosening of grip on reality, how ya been?

Or, maybe its not Indiana, but just how the * feels so unique and oh my god important every damn time.

stick shift and safety belt

patrick let me borrow his car, a miata stick shift, so i could get some shit done at my lab and grab my running clothes. i only killed it once getting here and it was no big deal since it was all downhill.

i have some great anxiety about driving back to patrick's on the top of capitol hill, however, as it is now all up some very steep fucking hills.

if i just hide at my house, he'd get the picture, take the bus to my place and drive us both (me and the car) back, right?

'til 4am

I'm going through my old boxes, and found an old notepad. This page was from a pretty formative week (for EFK at least).





(The top handwriting isn't mine. I'm guessing it's Jesse's.)

some cum on my shirt

i leave for the field early tomorrow morning. i'll come back for the weekends, but otherwise, the month of july will be spent on the olympic peninsula. i'm not sure how my field assistant is going to work. he's doing his own project for a sort of half-assed senior thesis-type thing, but today is the first day i actually get to go over his methods with him. i'm not sure if he has any of his gear together or knows how to use it. and i honestly don't care all that much. his project is adding weeks to my field season and i'm not particularly excited about it.

i looked at apartments all weekend and it was very tiring. it's not even for me. i'm either a masochist or a very nice girlfriend, it remains to be seen which is a more accurate description.

i have shit to do to get ready for tomorrow, so i'm searching for something meaningful to say here to avoid that.

i bought a pair of jeans and a dress at the gap today for $27. that's unbelievable.

i also just got a letter today telling me i've been reported to a collection agency because i didn't pay this bill to uw physicians. i've called uw physicians several times (all extrememly painful) to set up payment plans to make sure this wouldn't happen, but apparently nothing is cross-linked in their systems and they are a bunch of dumbfucks, so now my credit is even more bad.

it doesn't help that i move a lot so bills haven't really found their way to me in a very timely manner.

but i'm wearing my new pants and a pink shirt, so fuck 'em.